We are huge True Blood fans!! And as fans we have a few…er…bones to pick. This series has the opportunity for major stiletto- heeled a$$ kicking, quip-flinging, and general hotness, so we are more than a little disappointed when our TrueBlood heroes turn into TrueDuds. We award points for being lame. The highest scoring character is our winner.
*Warning: Spoilers and language may be present.*
At Last 6.4 Dud-O-Meter (Hey…I was on vacation.)
Ben: *My husband get’s an “I told you so” credit published in black and white. Here it is.* I had a whole bunch of jokes for this… 1 point
Nicole and Sam: Wait! Please don’t sleep….doh!! You all are cute together, but it is too soon. 1 point
Sookie: Go on girl! I thought the name of the episode was “At Last” because we were going to see your first real sex-scene of the season. You surprised me with your womanly confidence and savy. 0 points
Andy: I almost cried… 0 points
Willa: Your weepy eyes, your while flowy nightgown, your desperation. It is too much. 1 point
Alcide: I’m missing your awesomeness. 1 point
Jason: Will someone get him a pair of those no-glamour contacts already? 1 point
Sarah ex-Newlan: You have so much potential. I wish you would learn your lesson and stop sleeping your way to the top of every organization. Just be the boss already. Why do you need a man there? You always get…er…screwed. 5 points
Truest Dud of the fourth episode is Sarah. I hope you learn your lesson and embrace your own evil powers some day…
I really couldn’t help myself…don’t hate.
**** The Pain Away 6.5 Dud-O-Meter
Billith: What are you doing? You are wandering from plot to plot like a lunatic, that’s what. 5 points
Nicole and Sam: Awkward. I warned you. BTW, why are you always standing around, Sam, when you should be getting the heck out of town? This is a pattern for you. 2 points
Sookie: I thought for sure you were going to fall into goo-goo eyes, but you didn’t!! Yay. 0 points
Andy: I almost cried…again. 0 points
Willa: Your weepy eyes, your while flowy, blood covered nightgown, your desperation. It is too much. Still. 1 point
Alcide: Your dad really does want to help. Will you accept good advice from no one? Pull it together, man. 5 points
Jason: Way to stick up for Jess. I’m glad you’re back. These episodes need you. 0 points
Lafayette: You have GOT to learn how to block those spirits from taking you over!!! You are going to get hurt. I cannot have that happening. You are my favorite. 3 points
Sarah: Just use your brains and your bi@*chiness to get what you want. Sex complicates things. Ask Sam, if you don’t believe me. 3 points
Pam: You’re back!! You had some good ones. And the end…ha! I cannot wait to see what you come up with. 0 points
Jess: I AM mad at you, actually. You better figure out how to make amends. Your heart is in the right place, and thankfully Holly might understand, but it was NOT COOL. Watch out. You are not made for prison. You and Tara need to get out, fast. 5 points
Truest Dud of the fifth episode is Alcide. (Technically, it was a tie with Jess, but this whole thing is rigged.) Kicking your old man, while he’s down…. just no.
P.S. I totally love that there are wear-hookers. Is that wrong?
We wouldn’t be the Work Life Balance Protection Agency without sending you home with a motivational goody or two. Here’s yours.
Postcards From Pam: Send a tough-love greeting from Pam’s line of inspirational postcards, today!
And since I was behind…here’s another one…
And another one…I really can’t help it!