We are huge True Blood fans!! And as fans we have a few…er…bones to pick. This series has the opportunity for major stiletto- heeled a$$ kicking, quip-flinging, and general hotness, so we are more than a little disappointed when our TrueBlood heroes turn into TrueDuds. We award points for being lame. The highest scoring character is our winner.
*Warning: Spoilers and language may be present.*
Emma, Sam, Nicole, Alcide: Well…that was all rather anticlimactic. Six episodes of build-up and it’s over with some sad goodbyes and stern looks. I hate to keep awarding the pack all the points, but come on already. This story line is doing nothing for me. 10 points
Lafayette: Seriously, isn’t there some kind of “don’t inhabit my body” chant you can do or protection charm or something? 5 points
Sookie and Ben: It’s nice when you can save each other. “You save me from my dad-in-another-man’s-body and I’ll save you from Billith and her merkin of power.” This might work. I really hope the light-beam holds that knot you tied! I’m so glad Sookie is learning caution and restraint (get it…restraint…aherm…). If you guys team up, promise to do something cool already. 1 point for the light restraints
Jessie and James: Jessie James. Am I the only one who rolled her eyes at that? Maybe. It’s nice to see that some vampires retain their sense of chivalry. Kudos for not making light of rape and non consensual sex in coerced situations. I’m also sad to see Jessie feel so bad about herself that she feels like she deserves it. This was a really heavy moment. Let’s find some help for her. 0 points
Jason: Please save Jess. I’m so glad you have hatched a plan and are working on it. That’s my boy, Stackhouse! Try harder. The longer you are in there, the longer I feel you becoming weak to the power of Sarah and her sexy ways and smart brains. 0 points
Rev. Newlin: You’re back to your lame, old, sniveling ways, without any sass at all. 5 points
Billith: Finally! You are doing something. I really find it hard to believe you can’t find the location of this camp though. You kidnap a scientist, control people’s minds, rip the head off a man like it’s nothing, but can’t find a camp that contains almost every vampire in town and has it’s own agency?! JASON found the camp, OK? 1 point
Terry and Arlene: I am so sad. This was another huge moment, and I thought it deserved more time. I will miss Terry very much. PTSD is serious and it can’t be glamoured away. Thankfully, the show has handled his disorder with grace and severity. Arlene, I really wanted to you to have a happy life. Terry, you will be missed. 0 points
Truest Dud of this episode goes to the Sam/Alcide story. Move it along, people.
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