Charlotte Goldenblatt (nee’ York) traditional and old-fashioned has views slightly different than those of her girlfriends on “Sex and the City.” She is a romantic at heart and through the series wants nothing more than the perfect marriage, apartment and family (plus a nice summer home to retreat to). She is conservative and at times extremely uptight, especially on the subject of dating and sex. This causes her and Samantha to bump heads on more than one occasion. Charlotte is the woman who would sit and watch “The Stepford Wives” starring Nicole Kidman and not be able to understand why any woman would not want to live there because you get to wear beautiful dresses, raise families where there is no crime rate and take part in events in the up-scale community with your friends and neighbors. The micro-chip in the head would not factor into her thinking because Charlotte could be a Stepford Wife without it. This is week two of “Movie Bad Girl of the Week Television Edition: The Ladies of Sex and the City.”
When we first meet Charlotte she is a single girl living in New York City. Her last name is York. She is every bit the lady, dresses very stylishly and is on the hunt not just for sex, but rather, shows an emphasis on romance and love. She abides by the rules of dating developed in the book “The Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right ” by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider (1995). The book suggests rules that a woman should follow in order to attract and marry the man of her dreams. Want a sample of the books content? Here are some of the sections covered:
Be a “Creature Unlike Any Other”
Don’t Talk to a Man First (and Don’t Ask Him to Dance)
Don’t Stare at Men or Talk too Much
Don’t Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date
Charlotte lives by this set of rules and tells her friends that if they are going to have sex with a guy they are dating they need to wait until date number 5 before giving in…if they want the relationship to last. Charlotte sometimes will almost sneer at the behavior of her girlfriends whom are more sexually liberated. This is not to say Charlotte is an absolute angel because she is not. She can swear like a sailor at times and isn’t afraid of her body in a sexual sense. In one episode Charlotte becomes addicted to a sex toy called The Rabbit and the ladies need to run an intervention.
Charlotte has a series of guys that she dates and for all their looks and money it seems like something will always go wrong. She breaks up with one guy for being a bad kisser and “raping her face” with his mouth. Another guy has not had a circumcision and it freaks her out because she thinks it looks like a Shar Pei. He agrees to the procedure admitting that this has happened with many women and asks will she wait. She agrees. He gets the circumcision and they do sleep together. He then promptly dumps her because now he knows he will have an easier time getting laid. Charlotte finally does find the perfect man, or so she thinks, Trey MacDougal. He is a successful doctor from a very good family. He has an over-bearing and delightfully bitchy mother named Bunny who looks at Charlotte not as daughter-in-law but a rival. The marriage is doomed from the word go. The two decide not to have sex before they are married, although they try to have sex the day before the wedding. Trey cannot perform. This carries over into the marriage (including their honeymoon night we later find out) and Charlotte believes her husband is impotent. She then catches him masturbating as stress relief one night and it compound the problem. The pair separate. Trey eventually agrees to therapy to correct his problem, they get back together and they do begin having sex. Charlotte wants a child and is upset because she is not getting pregnant. It turns out she has fertility problems. She and Trey agree to trying In Vitro Fertilization as a means to conceive a child. It turns out Trey doesn’t really feel ready to have a family. This effectively ends the marriage.
Charlotte gets a divorce lawyer, Harry Goldenblatt. He is bald, has a hairy body, sweats a lot, he is short and has eating habits that she finds sloppy and distasteful. He is everything she does not want in a man and this is the man she will find true love and happiness with. When she isn’t looking love blossoms in her heart towards a man that is the exact opposite of what she wants in a husband. She realizes that unlike some of her prior thinking that you don’t change the man. You accept him with his imperfections. She loves Harry so much she converts from being Episcopalian to the Jewish faith so they can marry. The wedding that follows is her dream wedding from hell. If it can go wrong it does. She and Harry decide it is a good omen being her perfect 1st wedding led to disaster so a disaster of a wedding should lead to a perfect marriage. Charlotte even becomes pregnant but sadly miscarries leaving a very emotionally shattered woman with a loving and attentive husband to watch over her. She and Harry do adopt a child from China named Lily. In the first movie Charlotte becomes pregnant again and gives birth to a beautiful baby girl, Rose. In the second movie Charlotte confides to Miranda that she has doubts about her ability as a good wife and mother. Miranda talks to her friend and helps ease her mind. Life can be beautiful and maybe some fairy tales do come true.
What can we learn from Charlotte?
When it come to life there is nothing wrong with being not just a woman but a lady as well. You are entitled to your views on dating, sex, love and marriage and can hold the standard as high as you like. You are doing this for you and whomever may become the other half of the equation and you have the right to pick and choose. I don’t believe you need to have a self-help book telling you the rules, however if it is what you feel you need to help guide you, then by all means pick one up. Ask around before making that selection however, lots of self-help books only help the author who wrote them by the purchase price you will pay for the book.
Charlotte wants the perfect man. (don’t we all?) That idea of perfection is different for each and every person out there. What is perfect to me may be the polar opposite of what is perfect to you and there may be some bad apples in the bunch. You don’t have to settle down today or tomorrow. You are allowed to play the field. If you are with someone who seems to good to be true…just saying. If the bad is outweighing the good, cut ties before anyone gets too involved and/or hurt.
Here is a mistake Charlotte makes more than once that you should try to avoid. Do not try to change the person. They are who they are just like you are who you are. How would you feel if someone tried to change you? To me that would be a deal-breaker and the relationship would be over.
Don’t jump into a marriage as quickly as Charlotte did. The package looked perfect. Handsome, successful with a lucrative career and an excellent family background. Then it all fell apart because Charlotte was captivated by what looked like glittering gold. As she got to know Trey and his family it became more like tarnished brass. The relationship caused a lot of unhappiness and fell apart.
Although Charlotte’s second marriage likewise happened quickly, she had grown and matured not just emotionally but realistically as well and concluded that you need to take someone with their faults as well as their good qualities. Sometimes the opposite of what we want is actually what we need. Sometimes you will need to change things about yourself to make it work. My husband and I are living proof of that statement because we were not each other’s type, we each made a couple of changes on our own and what happened between us is pure magic.
Like Charlotte be optimistic about love, it is out there. Some of us have found it. For those of you who have not, it is waiting for fate to bring you into it’s path. Sometimes the best results you get are the ones that arrive when you’re not trying.
Can you have it all? Yes! Sometimes it comes from where you least expect it. Now before we wrap up here are some Charlotte quotes:
“Orgasms don’t send you Valentine’s Day cards and they don’t hold your hand in a sad movie.”
(Charlotte discovers that her brother Wesley has had sex with Samantha) “Is your vagina is the New York City guidebooks? Because it should be, its the hottest spot in town. It’s always open!”[with a hangover] “My hair hurts.”
“Sometimes you just know, it’s like, magic, it’s fate.”
“A vibrator does not call you on your birthday. A vibrator doesn’t send you flowers the next day, and you cannot take a vibrator home to meet your mother.”
Classy, educated, beautiful, caring and knowing what she wants out of life sums up this “Sex and the City” lady. Join me next week for the third installment of Movie Bad Girl of the Week Television Edition: “The Ladies of Sex and the City”. Until then re-watch some episodes of this ground-breaking show (preferably on DVD or Netflix so they are not edited) because it is great television!