By Mo Breden
How do you find your way back to your life, as it was before the before the birth, before the marriage, before the divorce, before the illness, before the death?
This is a question I have been struggling with. The struggle exists, because I resist change. Finding my way back to myself involves acknowledging that life has changed, that my life has changed. It doesn’t matter if it’s for better or worse, but usually change for the better is easier to adjust to then what we perceive as change for the worse.
The calendar in my kitchen still reads, February 2014. The recent changes in my life began in February, and at first I had no time to even notice the calendar, now it’s simply a matter of facing those changes honestly and moving on. I’ll admit I have had difficulty doing this. Even the things I loved to do before have been without the joy I previously knew.
I like to think that I learn as I go through life. I’ve faced tough times before, even tougher than the recent tough times, and I know that joy returns. It is in our nature to carry on, until joy returns. So that is what I have been doing. Joy doesn’t return all at once to the degree that you remember it. It comes in as rays of sunshine, gradually, without you even noticing and then all of a sudden you feel it, joy.
It’s really just a matter of putting one foot in front of the other, and moving through your life one day at a time. You have to have faith that the joy will return. That is where I am. I’ve felt it a few times, it’s tempered with the person I am today, and that is a person who is a little less carefree than I was previously. But today I am also a person who values my life and the people in it, more than I previously did.
None of us get through this life unscathed, no matter how it appears at any given time. None of us. If you are hurting for whatever reason, you are not the first nor will you be the last to feel this pain, and there are many of us who have continued on to find our way back to ourselves and the moments of sheer joy in our lives and the lives of the people we love.
Thanks for stopping by to read my post. I hope to see ya’s next week, for Life with Mo.