Create your balance. Design your life.

You Gotta Love A Lot

By Mo Breden


On Monday morning we arrived in Gainesville for Erin’s first radiation treatment since her last radiation treatment twelve years ago. If you don’t recall what I’m talking about, please see last Thursday’s, Life with Mo.

I followed her through the double doors, we sat down and they called her almost immediately, but not before I gave her a kiss on the cheek. Not unlike her first day of school, when she got on the bus and did not look back, Erin went when her name was called into the radiation therapy room, and did not look back. I on the other hand immediately started crying, as she disappeared from my view, also not unlike her first day of school.

I could only think of how scared she must be, knowing how serious her condition is, and that this is her only hope of continued sight. The only word that came to my mind was brave. My daughter is a brave soul in addition to all of the other things she is. At this writing the first week of radiation is almost over. On Monday her oncologist spoke to us and explained that the radiation dosage normally prescribed is between 45 and 55, however research shows no advantage to 55 over 45 and thus far no disadvantage to only radiating to 45, therefore, Erin will only be exposed to 45 in the hopes that it will do enough damage to the tumor to stop it, while hopefully preserving the vision she has left. We have the utmost confidence in her oncologist and believe that God has had a hand in guiding her to him once again. The upside here is that instead of a six-week course of radiation, Erin will only have four weeks and that brings us to April 10 as her last day of radiation.

Yesterday while Erin napped (the radiation saps your strength pretty rapidly) I went and swam for ninety minutes at the Gainesville YMCA. Swimming is something I can control, and I needed to do something that I had some power over and pushing myself in the pool is a great release from these things that I cannot control. I am so grateful for my swimming.

Being with Erin has always been a joy for me. Last night we turned out the lights and neither of us could sleep so, we talked, we told stories, we giggled, and it was a gift.

Next week Pete, her husband will accompany her for week two of treatment, and I
will miss not being with her and will drive Pete crazy from a distance. Pete, consider yourself warned.

This morning while Erin was napping I wandered around the gardens here at the Hope Lodge and found some serenity in the gifts of nature and peace in the comfort that the Hope Lodge provides to us. I am so grateful for the American Cancer Society’s Hope Lodge.

I really want my friends and family to understand one thing for certain. Pray for my daughter, feel for her, pour your love out to her, but don’t feel sorry for me. I received the greatest gift of my life on January 2, 1981, my daughter Erin. She has and continues to be everything you could ever hope or dream a daughter would be and she is my friend. I wish you all could experience having a daughter like Erin, but alas, she is my daughter.

Pictures are of the gardens here at the Hope Lodge.

hope garden








Thanks for stopping by to read my post. I hope to see ya’s next week, for Life with Mo, as it is.

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