Create your balance. Design your life.

The Salon: Moving Forward When You Don’t Know Where You’re Going

This morning, as I was stewing over having not posted in a few days, I came across this photo, from PCOS Diva, on my Facebook feed:

on track

“Staying stuck does not serve you.” In fact, if you really look at it, being stuck IS a form of evolution and growth.  “Know this and allow it.”

This morning, like many mornings, I felt guilty for having to start over: on my diet healthy eating plan, on my business plan, on my fitness routine.  Swirling the coffee in my mug, wallowing in my allergy symptoms and feelings of failure, I had a hard time figuring out how I could even get to the computer. I’ve written about effectively using your time while you are at your “rock bottom,” but what I did not cover is how to get out of there.  What if you’ve been down there, learning, rolling along, being open, for a really long time?  How do you climb your way back up if you haven’t figured where you are going?

“You are evolving, a work in progress, changing and growing.”  This is movement, folks.  This IS climbing out, however incremental it may feel.  Just pay attention.  Be open to whatever you are feeling and allow it.

All my life I have put myself on an imaginary timeline–graduate by X, get a career by X, get married by X, Get a house by X, have children by X, etc.  Who says?  Who says you even need any of these things in the first place?  Somewhere along the line, I picked up the notion that these milestones, and this timetable, was the RIGHT way to live a fulfilling and successful life. Enough, already.  Get off the timeline.  There is none. Not to indulge my penchant for morbidity, but we could get hit by a bus tomorrow!  The timeline does not serve us.

Allow your growth to happen.  When you notice yourself thinking those judgmental thoughts, STOP.  Instead, turn your mind to the moment:

 What are you doing? Holding hot coffee in my hand.

What are you looking at? Pictures on the wall.

Breathe in the moment.  Then ask:

What did I accomplish recently?  Drove a friend when they didn’t have a car  and got my children to school on time.

As soon as you find your accomplishment, indulge it for a second.  Don’t question whether your accomplishment is an “actual” accomplishment or not, or compare it to someone else’s accomplishment.  Expand on it:

I am able to keep my car and make my payments.  I am a good parent to my children.  They are clean, dressed appropriately, fed and loved. I am able to be available to people who need me, without needing anything in return.  These are wonderful qualities I have…

Try this any time those negative thoughts pile up on your shoulders.  Those thoughts are what weigh you down, keep you down at your “rock bottom.”  Those thoughts blind you from seeing your worth and recognizing opportunities when they arise.

Know you are growing.  Growing IS movement. You ARE moving forward even if it doesn’t feel like it.

Allow it to happen.

Join the discussion!!!  The Salon is a forum for us to think new thoughts and engage with each other in relation to ideas rather than events. comments-icon2

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