Create your balance. Design your life.

Dear Cell Phone User,

Over my next few Monday-Funday columns, I will write about things that get under my skin and bug me. I am serious about the things I am saying and hope I have said it with enough humor to make you smile. 

Alexandra xoxo

We live life day by day, doing our jobs, taking care of our families, doing our weekly (and sometimes) daily chores. Life at times can be very stressful. There are so many things that can distract us from our daily routine. I am feeling like Michael Douglas in “Falling Down”. I doubt very much that I will go and shoot up a fast food restaurant like he did in the film. Instead I am going to use words. There are some distractions in this world that we could do without and I am calling people out on it.

Dear Cell Phone User,

There is a time and a place to use your cell phone whether it be for a call or a text message. There are many places where it is not okay.

I did not pay $12.00 to go to a movie and have you sit one row behind me and take a call. I understand that sometimes those calls can be important, however, set the phone to vibrate. If it does vibrate please leave the theater to take your call. This is called good manners and quite frankly I don’t give a shit if your kids are fighting over the last Twinkie. If I was the babysitter I’d eat the Twinkie and then the fight would be over.

When I am behind you in the drive-through at Burger King (or any other fast food restaurant) do not hold up the worker trying to take your order because you are on your phone. You can stop talking to the caller for 30 seconds and order your Whopper and fries. Have it your way, but for the love of Pete get off the phone to do it. You are being rude to the worker, me and everyone behind me. If your best friend just called to tell you she is pregnant guess what? She will still be pregnant 45 seconds from now! The same rules apply at the window.

I don't care if you are Paris Hilton. Put the damn phone down until you pull out. RUDE!

I don’t care if you are Paris Hilton. Put the damn phone down until you pull out. RUDE!

People with a Bluetooth: You freak me out. I am standing in the grocery store deciding if the price of coffee will cause me to be unable to pay my electric bill for the month and have to make a decision on whether or not I can afford this luxury item (even if I can’t I am buying or I would kill everyone around me) and suddenly you come walking up to get coffee as well. You ask a question out loud and I turn and look at you and say “I’m sorry, what did you say?” Then the next thing I know you look at me like I am a crazy woman and you tell whoever is on the other end that you guess it is okay if you go out for Mexican tonight. I also see you walking around looking like some of the homeless people you see talking to themselves. You are having that conversation with the invisible person in your ear. It is, however a huge treat Dear Bluetooth User to see you at a stoplight having a fight with someone by phone. I wish you could see yourselves. Like it or not you are pure comedic genius then.

Convenience store workers, you are at the store to WORK! Why are you having a conversation with someone while I am making a purchase of cigarettes or a soda? I don’t care if Fiona cheated on Bobby and your boss isn’t paying you to partially ignore me because the drama in your life is more exciting than ringing up gas purchases. One more thing. When I come in to pay my hard earned money on something your store offers don’t you dare act like I am bothering you because you are on a personal call on company time. Believe me when I say this cupcake: “If you give me attitude, unlike a lot of customers, I will be a bitch and call the manager or corporate office. I do my job like I am suppose to and so should you.

When you are in a restaurant having a meal, do not call anyone, do not text anyone, do not play a game online and do not check your Facebook. Look at the person across from you and talk to them. Yes, talk to them. Please tell me that as a society with so much technology that we haven’t forgotten that one simple social grace. If you do this to me I will get up and leave. I chose to have that meal with you, so I could spend some time with you and talk with you! I get sad every time I see people at a table and everyone has their noses buried in their phones or it is just two people and one sits there staring into space because the other is busy with their phone.

Put it away and talk. Is that asking too much?

Put it away and talk. Is that asking too much?

Last and not least. YOU! YES, YOU! The person who is talking on their phone in a store, in a restaurant, in the movie theater lobby. Keep your voice down while you are talking. No one needs to know your business. For several years my husband and I lived in a very small town in Georgia. In a Wendy’s one day a woman was on her cell talking to her friend about her new window treatments…loudly. It disturbed everyone who was trying to eat and have conversation at a conversational level. Why did she do this? She wanted to show off because several times (LOUDLY) the entire dining room heard her mention how much it cost. You know what? That is rude and I hope your cat pee’d on those new window treatments. You took the pleasure out of our lunch because we couldn’t hear our own conversation over yours.


The following video demonstrates what I am going to do from now on when someone violates any of these rules.

















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