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50 States 150 Very Strange Laws Part 1

We live in a country where laws were set in place to maintain orderly behavior. If you break the law you can be cited with a fine or worse, spend time in jail. As we progress as a country, laws progress…most of the time. For some reason some laws stayed in the books and I can only imagine how others got on the books.  I can only wonder what you would have to be thinking to break some of these laws. Some of what follows are state laws and some belong to particular counties or cities.  Sit back, get ready to smile and enjoy these bizarre laws that are on the books.

Alabama

It is illegal to sell peanuts after sundown on Wednesday.

It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.

It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church. (What about bad outfits?)

Alaska

While it is legal to shoot bears, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.

It is illegal to push a moose out of a moving airplane

From Anchorage, Alaska: It is illegal to tie your pet dog to the roof of a car…ya think?

Arizona

It is illegal to manufacture imitation cocaine.

You may not have more than two dildos in a house.

Hunting camels is prohibited…because you know how pesky those wild camels are that run loose in Arizona.

Arkansas

A man can legally beat his wife…but not more than once a month. (Can she kill him once a month?)

From Little Rock, Arkansas: It is illegal to honk your car horn at a sandwich shop after 9 pm.

also from Little Rock: Dog’s may not bark after 6pm

Quiet Rover! It is 6:01 pm!

Quiet Rover! It is 6:01 pm!

California

It is illegal for a vehicle without a driver to exceed a speed of 60 miles per hour.

It is a misdemeanor to shoot any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless you are shooting a whale.

It is illegal for a woman to drive while wearing a housecoat.

Colorado

from Boulder, Colorado: It is legal to challenge a police officer…but only until he or she asks you to stop.

from Cripple Creek, Colorado: It is illegal to bring your horse or pack-mule above the ground floor of any building.

from Denver, Colorado: The dog catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a printed notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road that runs through said park.

Connecticut

You can be stopped by police for biking over 65 miles per hour…65 miles an hour? It takes me 20 minutes to get around the block.

from Hartford, Connecticut: You may not educate your dogs.

from New Britain, Connecticut: It is illegal for a fire truck to go over 25 miles per hour….even when responding to a fire!  I really liked that house 🙁

Delaware

from Lewes, Delaware: It is illegal to wear pants that are “firm fitting” around the waist.

Welcome to Lewes!

Welcome to Lewes!

from Rehoboth Beach, Delaware: psst…it is illegal to whisper in church.

also from Rehoboth Beach: You may not change clothes in your vehicle.

Florida

It is illegal to sell your children.

If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle. Dammit! I brought the children downtown on our elephant to sell them and all the parking lots were full and I have no change for the meter.

It is illegal for a man to be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown. (Female impersonators BEWARE!)

Georgia

It is illegal to carry an ice cream cone in your back pocket on Sunday.

from Athens-Clarke County, Georgia: It is illegal to give away goldfish to entice someone to enter into a game of BINGO! We all know that no one can resist goldfish.

from Columbus, Georgia: All Indians must return to their shore of the Chattahoochee River by nightfall.

from Quitman, Georgia: It is illegal for a chicken to cross the road.

Why did the chicken cross the road?  This is Quitman. It isn't happening.

Why did the chicken cross the road? This is Quitman. So much for that age old question.

also from Quitman: Cars may not be driven on the sidewalks.

Hawaii

Coins are not allowed to place in one’s ears.

Idaho

It is illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy that weighs less than 50 lbs.

from Pocatello, Idaho: It is illegal to be seen in public without a smile on your face.

from Boise, Idaho: You may not fish from a giraffe’s back.

Illinois

It is illegal to have sex with a corpse….I kinda figured that was a given.

from Champaign, Illinois: One may not urinate in a neighbor’s mouth….what is up with this state?

from Chicago, Illinois: It is illegal to eat inside any place that is on fire.

Indiana

It is illegal to take a bath between the months of October and March.

from Beech Grove, Indiana: It is unlawful to eat watermelon in the park.

Sorry you'll need to go eat that in the middle of the street.

Sorry you’ll need to go eat that in the middle of the street.

from Elkhart, Indiana: It is illegal for a barber to threaten to cut off a kid’s ears…my father would be in deep doody.

Iowa

One armed piano players must play for free.

from Marshalltown, Iowa: It is illegal for a horse to eat a fire hydrant.

from Cedar Rapids, Iowa: It is illegal to practice fortune telling.

Kansas

If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed. What? *scratching head*

from Derby, Kansas: It is illegal to hit a vending machine that has stolen your money.

I might go to jail but you're going down.

I might go to jail but you’re going down.

from Topeka, Kansas: Apparently it is illegal to scream in a haunted house:

Sec. 14-147. Operational requirements. Operation of a haunted house shall conform to the following requirements: (1) The proposed structure shall be on property zoned C-4 commercial. Properties located in other zoning categories will require a conditional usepermit pursuant to appendix C. (2) The applicant must comply with minimum city fire department and buildinginspection division safety recommendations. (3) The audience of any haunted house must be orderly at all times, and it shall be unlawful for any person attending such haunted house to create a disturbance in the audience. (4) Amplified sound equipment shall not be permitted outside of the structure used as a haunted house. (Code 1981, § 7-162)

Kentucky

One may not dye a duckling blue and offer it for sale unless more than six are for sale at once.

from Owensboro, Kentucky: A dog may not molest pedestrians or vehicles.

Louisiana

It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the teller with a water pistol.

Biting someone with your natural teeth is deemed “simple assault” while biting someone with your false teeth is considered “aggravated assault”.

from New Orleans, Louisiana: You may not tie an alligator to a fire hydrant.

Maine

By an old law on the books it is required that shotguns be taken to church in the event of a Native American attack.

It is illegal to step out of a plane that is in flight.

from South Berwick, Maine: It is illegal to park in front of the Dunkin’ Donuts.

from Wells, Maine: It is illegal for you to remove a corpse from the cemetery…..isn’t that a given?

Maryland

Oral sex is illegal whether given or received anywhere in the state.

from Baltimore, Maryland: It is illegal to take a lion to the movies.

But my lion really wanted to see "50 Shades of Grey". He is going to be so disappointed.

But my lion really wanted to see “50 Shades of Grey”. He is going to be so disappointed.

from Baltimore City, Maryland: It is illegal to use profanity within city limits.

Massachusetts

Children may smoke, however it is illegal for them to purchase cigarettes.

At a wake, it is illegal for mourners to eat more than 3 sandwiches.

It is illegal for a gorilla to be in the back seat of any car.

Michigan

It is legal for a robber to file a lawsuit if he or she got injured while in your house….that seems fair.

A woman cannot legally cut her own her without her husband’s permission.

from Detroit, Michigan: It is illegal for your pig to run loose in the city of Detroit unless it has a ring in it’s nose.

Minnesota

It is illegal to sleep naked.

sleeping-naked

It is illegal for citizens to cross over into Wisconsin with a chicken on their head.

from St. Cloud, Minnesota: It is illegal to eat hamburgers on Sunday.

Mississippi

It is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public…do you know how many arrests you could make at bars and high school dances?

The crime of cattle rustling is punishable by hanging.

from Tylertown, Mississippi: It is illegal to shave in the center of Main Street.

Missouri

from Mole, Missouri: It is a violation of the law to frighten a baby.

from Natchez, Missouri: It is illegal to provide an elephant with beer or other intoxicants.

from Purdy, Missouri: Dancing is strictly prohibited…wait a minute…Isn’t that the plot of “Footloose”?

Kevin Bacon in "Footloose" (1984)

Kevin Bacon in “Footloose” (1984)

We have made our journey through the first 25 states in alphabetical order and we will stop here. I promise we will visit the remaining 25 states in my next column.

To be continued…

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