Let’s continue our road trip as we take a look at the rest of the states and some of the wacky laws that are out there. If you missed the first part you can find it in the Just for Fun section of the WLBPA menu section. Now buckle and let’s travel and see how many stupid things we can do to get arrested in this beautiful country of ours!
It is a felony for a wife to open her husband’s mail.
from Whitehall, Montana
It is illegal to operate a vehicle with ice picks attached to the wheels.
from Excelsior Springs, Montana
Hard objects may not be thrown by hand….how the hell do kids play baseball?
Persons with gonorrhea may not marry….maybe this is a good thing. Could you imagine the Honeymoon? *shudders*
If a child burps during church, his parent may be arrested.
A man is not allowed to run around with a shaved chest.
It’s still “legal” to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property.
from Elko, Nevada
Everyone walking the streets is required to wear a mask….I want to live here. It sounds like everyday is Halloween!!!! It would be boring if they mean those medical masks so you don’t spread germs from coughing or sneezing.
from Reno, Nevada
Sex toys are illegal…Reno also bans brothels.
On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up….are you listening boys?
You will be arrested if you are caught inhaling bus fumes with the intent to inducing euphoria…a bus stops for what? 30 seconds?
from Claremont, New Hampshire
In regards to cemeteries listen up….you may not get drunk, picnic, enter at night, and enter by one’s self if you are under the age of 10 and we know all little kids just love to hang out in the cemetery.
For all you killers out there keep this in mind. You are breaking the law if you wear a bullet-proof vest while committing a murder.
from Manville, New Jersey
It is illegal to offer whiskey or cigarettes to animals a the local zoo….you know if this is a law that people have done this….more than once.
from Newark, New Jersey
It is illegal to sell ice cream after 6pm, unless the customer has a note from his doctor….I bet that’s a hit when you have a kid that wants a cool treat and won’t stop crying
Nudity is allow, provided that male genitals are covered and women may walk in public topless provided they have their nipples covered. Umm?
Idiots may not vote.
Full text of this law: Article VII. Elective Franchise
Section 1. [Qualifications of voters; absentee voting; school elections; registration.]
Every citizen of the United States, who is over the age of twenty-one years, and has resided in New Mexico twelve months, in the county ninety days, and in the precinct in which he offers to vote thirty days, next preceding the election, except idiots, insane persons and persons convicted of a felonious or infamous crime unless restored to political rights, shall be qualified to vote at all elections for public officers. The legislature may enact laws providing for absentee voting by qualified electors. All school elections shall be held at different times from other elections.
from Deming, New Mexico
Hunting is prohibited in Mountain View Cemetery….they’ll be sorry when the zombie apocalypse happens.
Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business…I am going to be honest, I am not even sure what that means.
It is against the law to throw a ball at someone’s head for fun….damn! Now what am I supposed to do to entertain myself?
from Staten Island, New York
It is illegal for a father to call his son a “faggot” or “queer” in an effort to curb “girlie behavior…I feel sorry for the child that would have this father in the first place.
Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields.
from Barber, North Carolina
Fights between cats and dogs are prohibited…how’s that one working out for you?
from Dunn, North Carolina
It is illegal to drive cars through city cemeteries for pleasure….but I love playing let’s run over the oldest headstone…I do! It’s worth 20,000 points!
It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
It is legal to shoot an Indian on horseback, provided you are in a covered wagon…..No! Covered wagon not a Volkswagen.
from Fargo, North Dakota
It is illegal to wear a hat while dancing.
The Ohio driver’s education manual states that you must honk the horn whenever you pass another car. That is one of the dumbest things I have ever…HONK! HONK! HONK!. I said that is HONK! HONK! I said HONK!
from Akron, Ohio
No person shall solicit sex from another of the same gender if it offends the second person…Um? Okay. Do those people wear signs to let you know they’ll be offended?
from Canton, Ohio
If one loses their pet tiger, they must notify the authorities within one hour….I just turned my back to the door for one second and kitty was gone!
Oklahoma will not tolerate anyone taking a bite out of another’s hamburger….so much for sharing.
from Clinton, Oklahoma
Molesting an automobile is illegal….all I can picture is Adam Sandler and the car scene in “Eight Crazy Nights”
from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
One may not tip over a casket at a funeral….what about if clumsy Aunt Martha backs into it?
Babies may not be carried on the running boards of a car…..now you must strap them to the luggage rack on top of your vehicle.
in Stanfield, Oregon
It is against the law for animals to have sex in the city limits…..yet I bet you can find ads for free puppies and kittens in the local paper born by immaculate conception.
from Portland, Orgeon
People may not whistle underwater….how the hell else are you going to get the attention of the fish?!?!?!
It it illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors.
from Connellsville, Pennsylvania
One’s pants may be worn no lower than five inches below the waist….they should adopt this law everywhere and reduce it to 3 inches…just saying.
in Morrisville, Pennsylvania
It is required that a woman have a permit to wear cosmetics….and in some cases maybe they should enforce makeup lessons.
You may not bite off people’s body parts.
full text of this law:
� 11-29-1 Penalty for mutilation or disabling. Every person who shall voluntarily, maliciously or of purpose put out an eye, slit the nose, ear, or lip, or cut off, bite off, or disable any limb or member of another, shall be imprisoned not exceeding twenty (20) years nor less than one year.
Any marriage where either of the parties is an idiot or lunatic is null and void….there goes quite a few marriages that I know.
In Providence, Rhode Island it is illegal to wear transparent clothing….then I guess the emperor’s new clothes are out of the question.
It is a capital offense to inadvertently kill someone while attempting suicide…. if the suicide is successful are they going to resuscitate you so they can hold trial and execute you?
It is considered an offense to get a tattoo….is it an offense to own a tattoo parlor?
It is perfectly legal to beat your wife on the court house steps on Sundays….is it legal for that wife to put powdered glass in her husband’s dinner that night?
It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.
Movies that show police officers being struck, beaten, or treated in an offensive manner are forbidden….there goes every action movie ever.
If there are more than 5 Native Americans on your property you may shoot them…how is this even still on the books?!?
It is legal to gather and consume roadkill….YUM! What’s for dinner tonight? Steak? Pizza? One very slow raccoon?
In Lenior County, Tennessee when you pull up to a stop sign you must fire a gun out the window to warn horse carriages that you are coming.
from Memphis, Tennessee
It is illegal for a woman to drive a car unless there is a man either running or walking in front of it waving a red flag to warn approaching motorists and pedestrians.
A recently passed anti-crime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed because as we know criminals are the most upstanding citizens.
In Dallas, Texas It’s illegal to possess realistic dildos….so make sure to buy one in some fashion neon shade.
In Mesquite, Texas it is illegal for children to have unusual haircuts….can you imagine what the people’s hair must look like?
Welcome to Mesquite…here are you hair choices:
No one may have sex in the back of an ambulance if it is responding to an emergency call.
It is illegal not to drink milk.
It is illegal to detonate any nuclear weapon.
Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.
At one time it was illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole…sorry you’ll have to leave it at home.
from Barre, Vermont
All residents shall bathe every Saturday night.
Children are not to go trick-or-treating on Halloween….can we send them on April 18th this year? Do we put every day of the year on pieces of paper and pull one out of a hat? Inquiring minds want to know.
In Norfolk, Virginia spitting on a sea gull is not tolerated, sea gull’s pooping on your head is permitted however.
In Richmond, Virginia it is illegal to flip a coin in a restaurant to see who pays for a coffee, but not to see which team gets possession of the ball first.
All lollipops are banned.
In Seattle, Washington you may not carry a concealed weapon that is over six feet in length…leave the rocket launcher in the gun rack in the truck.
from Spokane County, Washington
Strippers may not come closer than four feet to any customer….there goes the lap dance for the groom at his bachelor party.
It is legal for a male to have sex with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40 lbs…..YIKES!
In Alderson, West Virginia You may not walk a lion, tiger or leopard, even on a leash.
from Nicholas County, West Virginia ( apparently the home of fire and brimstone sermons)
No member of the clergy is allowed to tell jokes or humorous stories from the pulpit during a church service.
State Law made it illegal to serve apple pie in public restaurants without cheese….it’s actually quite tasty.
The state definition of rape claimed that it was a man having sex with a woman he knows not to be his wife…do you know how many times I have been raped?
In La Crosse, Wisconsin it is illegal to display an unclothed mannequin in a store window because we know that there is nothing more obscene or sexy than a naked mannequin.
You may not take a picture of a rabbit from January to April without an official permit….after all it isn’t wabbit season.
It is illegal for women to stand within five feet of a bar while drinking.
If one is drunk in a mine, he or she could land in jail for up to a year.
Full text of the law:
5-10-402. Entering mines, metallurgical works or sawmills while intoxicated; taking intoxicants into related structures.
Whoever shall, while under the influence of intoxicating liquor, enter any mine, smelter, metallurgical works,machine shops or sawmills, or any of the buildings connected with the operation of the same in Wyomingwhere miners or workmen are employed or whoever shall carry or haul any intoxicating liquor into the same or any logging or grading camp shall be deemed guilty of amisdemeanor and upon conviction shall be fined in any sum not exceeding five hundred dollars ($500.00) to which may be added imprisonment in the county jail for a term not exceeding one (1) year.
There you have. There are many laws I have not covered and you want to have some fun and look more of them up. So as you travel this great country of ours be careful what you do or you could find yourself behind bars.
Have a great week and be safe!