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TrueDud s.6 e.9 and e.10

TrueDud s.6 e.9 and e.10

Aug 19, 2013

We are huge True Blood fans!! And as fans we have a few…er…bones to pick.  This series has the opportunity for major stiletto- heeled a$$ kicking, quip-flinging, and general hotness, so we are more than a little disappointed when our TrueBlood heroes turn into TrueDuds. We award points for being lame.  The highest scoring character is our winner. *Warning: Spoilers and language may be present.* Dud-O-Meter: Season Finale Sookie:  Ugh. Well, I hate to say I told you so, but…duh.  (It’s nice to know I haven’t lost my ability to know a bad egg when I see one).  If this guy hasn’t learned patience after 5,000 years, he ain’t gonna learn.  Also, what in Haven’s name are you wearing?  I’ve tried to be polite this season.  Really, I have.  The bizarre, 1983-music-video scene of you putting on that skin-tight-1983 black dress you’ve been wearing for the past three episodes was enough.  Then, in the last episode, you whip out your pièce de résistance hat and gloves.   10 points Sam: Mayor?  Well, OK.  I guess that makes sense.  I hate time jumps. You’ll be the best one the town has seen in YEARS! 0 points Billith: Back to being just you, huh?  Now that you’ve lost your powers, your merkin-possie, and your God complex, you can try to fit in a lowly-human or two?  I’m glad Sookie turns you down.  Sure, you step in to save her life–like always–but you have been horrible for a long time now.  Tighten up. 5 points Eric:  WHAT!!!???? WHAT!!!????  No.  Do NOT leave us with old-mopey-face-Bill.  I refuse to believe you are gone.  Re. Fuse.  Don’t tell me that an entire half of a season can be devoted to the death of a secondary character and you get  20 seconds. On a mountain. Naked.  That can’t be it, because it is just not right!!  I love’d Terry and all, but you’re all we had this season, Eric.  You pulled all the..er..dead weight, had all the good lines, had all the action.  You can’t blaze-out on us now. 10 points (not for you but for your LAME scene) Pam: I kept waiting for you to shape up.  You didn’t.  I’ve had to farm out your greeting...

TrueDud s.6 e.7 and 8

TrueDud s.6 e.7 and 8

Aug 7, 2013

We are huge True Blood fans!! And as fans we have a few…er…bones to pick.  This series has the opportunity for major stiletto- heeled a$$ kicking, quip-flinging, and general hotness, so we are more than a little disappointed when our TrueBlood heroes turn into TrueDuds. We award points for being lame.  The highest scoring character is our winner. *Warning: Spoilers and language may be present.* I know what you’re thinking, “You are so behind.”  But I. just. couldn’t.  What happened to my crazy show–the one I loved with evil villains I loved to hate?  Remember that crazy Maryann from season 2?!  That season was insane!  Remember meeting Alcide for the first time, or conflicted and crazy Marnie/Harry Potter’s Mean Aunt Petunia?  Heck, remember Crystal the wear-panther and her inbred family of abuse?!  Those were the good old days… Television can be wonderful–especially in the US.  I don’t think anyone spends as much money on TV as we do here, and it sure can be a wonderful escape.  Now, I’m not saying other places don’t have great TV.  That is not true at all.  But when it comes to blockbuster, off-the-chain-explosive TV–we really know our stuff. TV brings people together.  Gossiping is terribly unhealthy to relationships, but you can talk about your TV friends all day long!  I loved catching up with my bestie over a steaming mug of TrueBlood recap.  Now, I’m struggling to get through the next episode.  They are killing people I love, taking short-cuts with sassy dialog, and leave me staring at the calendar waiting for Game of Thrones to come back on…  You know it’s bad when you check your FB 20 times during an episode. That being said…Game of Thrones comes back Spring 2014.  We’ve got to make it work until then… Here’s what stands out in my memory about these last 2 episodes: Dud-O-Meter Arlene: Take the money!!!! Sookie:  Ugh. Alcide:  FINALLY!  That pack was bad news, yo. Pam/Tara/and everyone else in jail:  Yup.  Still in jail.  We’re waiting. Billith:  I don’t care for this incarnation at all.  If you are going to be evil, do it.  If you are going to be complicated, be more like Eric.  Right now, you flounder....

True Dud s.6 e.6

True Dud s.6 e.6

Jul 21, 2013

We are huge True Blood fans!! And as fans we have a few…er…bones to pick.  This series has the opportunity for major stiletto- heeled a$$ kicking, quip-flinging, and general hotness, so we are more than a little disappointed when our TrueBlood heroes turn into TrueDuds. We award points for being lame.  The highest scoring character is our winner. *Warning: Spoilers and language may be present.* Dud-O-Meter Emma, Sam, Nicole, Alcide:  Well…that was all rather anticlimactic.  Six episodes of build-up and it’s over with some sad goodbyes and stern looks.  I hate to keep awarding the pack all the points, but come on already.  This story line is doing nothing for me. 10 points Lafayette: Seriously, isn’t there some kind of “don’t inhabit my body” chant you can do or protection charm or something? 5 points Sookie and Ben:  It’s nice when you can save each other.  “You save me from my dad-in-another-man’s-body and I’ll save you from Billith and her merkin of power.”  This might work.  I really hope the light-beam holds that knot you tied!  I’m so glad Sookie is learning caution and restraint (get it…restraint…aherm…).  If you guys team up, promise to do something cool already.  1 point for the light restraints Jessie and James:  Jessie James.  Am I the only one who rolled her eyes at that?  Maybe.  It’s nice to see that some vampires retain their sense of chivalry.  Kudos for not making light of rape and non consensual sex in coerced situations. I’m also sad to see Jessie feel so bad about herself that she feels like she deserves it.  This was a really heavy moment.  Let’s find some help for her.  0 points Jason:  Please save Jess.  I’m so glad you have hatched a plan and are working on it.  That’s my boy, Stackhouse! Try harder.  The longer you are in there, the longer I feel you becoming weak to the power of Sarah and her sexy ways and smart brains.  0 points Rev. Newlin: You’re back to your lame, old, sniveling ways, without any sass at all. 5 points Billith:  Finally!  You are doing something.  I really find it hard to believe you can’t find the location of this camp though.  You...

TrueDud s.6 e.4 and 5

TrueDud s.6 e.4 and 5

Jul 15, 2013

We are huge True Blood fans!! And as fans we have a few…er…bones to pick.  This series has the opportunity for major stiletto- heeled a$$ kicking, quip-flinging, and general hotness, so we are more than a little disappointed when our TrueBlood heroes turn into TrueDuds. We award points for being lame.  The highest scoring character is our winner. *Warning: Spoilers and language may be present.* At Last 6.4 Dud-O-Meter (Hey…I was on vacation.) Ben: *My husband get’s an “I told you so” credit published in black and white.  Here it is.*  I had a whole bunch of jokes for this… 1 point Nicole and Sam:  Wait! Please don’t sleep….doh!! You all are cute together, but it is too soon. 1 point Sookie:  Go on girl!  I thought the name of the episode was “At Last” because we were going to see your first real sex-scene of the season.  You surprised me with your womanly confidence and savy.  0  points  Andy: I almost cried…  0 points Willa: Your weepy eyes, your while flowy nightgown, your desperation.  It is too much. 1 point Alcide: I’m missing your awesomeness.  1 point Jason: Will someone get him a pair of those no-glamour contacts already? 1 point Sarah ex-Newlan: You have so much potential.  I wish you would learn your lesson and stop sleeping your way to the top of every organization. Just be the boss already.  Why do you need a man there?  You always get…er…screwed. 5 points Truest Dud of the fourth episode is Sarah. I hope you learn your lesson and embrace your own evil powers some day… I really couldn’t help myself…don’t hate.   **** The Pain Away 6.5 Dud-O-Meter  Billith:  What are you doing?  You are wandering from plot to plot like a lunatic, that’s what. 5 points Nicole and Sam:  Awkward.  I warned you.  BTW, why are you always standing around, Sam, when you should be getting the heck out of town?  This is a pattern for you.  2 points Sookie:  I thought for sure you were going to fall into goo-goo eyes, but you didn’t!!  Yay. 0  points  Andy: I almost cried…again.  0 points Willa: Your weepy eyes, your while flowy, blood covered nightgown, your desperation.  It is too much. Still. 1 point Alcide: Your dad...

TrueDud s.6 e.3

TrueDud s.6 e.3

Jul 1, 2013

We are huge True Blood fans!! And as fans we have a few…er…bones to pick.  This series has the opportunity for major stiletto- heeled a$$ kicking, quip-flinging, and general hotness, so we are more than a little disappointed when our TrueBlood heroes turn into TrueDuds. *Warning: Spoilers and language may be present.* Dud-O-Meter Nicole:  I’m sorry.  We got off on the wrong foot.  I really thought you were going to be terrible.  You helped Sam and Lafayette and haven’t posted anything on the Internet, yet.  Maybe I misjudged you…maybe. 0 points Sookie:  Way to tell your crazy, scary, ex-boyfriend to get out of your life!  I am proud of you.  0  points  Andy: An appology to your lady, shooting lessons, and parenting tips!  All in one episode.  Good for you!  Now, keep a CLOSE eye on those girls.  0 points Tam or Para (not sure which):  Your tag-team- of “Hell no’s” and surly arm-crossing is driving me nuts.   5 points Sam:  I’m not liking the discord between you and the pack, but you did the right thing.  Hoot, Hoot!  Woot, Woot! 0 points Lafayette:  Thanks for having Sam’s back, always knowing when to make drinks, and not letting the writers take away your sass! 0 points: we need more of you, especially if Pam is on the fritz Alcide:  May I, kindly and with love, suggest a leadership course?  5 points Jason: To quote a friend, “Bless your heart.” Well.  Glad to know it was only your hallucinations that are racist and not you. We need you back and functioning.  2 points: enough already Rev. Newlan: You were the best thing about this episode.  You and your wife. And her hair. 0 points Eric: I hope you have a plan and it doesn’t involve sex with Willa. I am glad you are getting screen-time to call the shots, mobilize the troops, and really sparkle.  Well…not sparkle…that’s another…er…you know what I mean. I’ll just put my tape back on….0 points   Truest Dud of the third episode is the episode.  You’re No Good was…wait for it…no good. The Lamest Costume Award goes to Jess for the school-girl-with-garters outfit and fetish stereotype.  And, what’s up with all the awkward face touching between you and Bill?   We wouldn’t...

TrueDud s.6 e.2

TrueDud s.6 e.2

Jun 28, 2013

We are huge True Blood fans!! And as fans we have a few…er…bones to pick.  This series has the opportunity for major stiletto- heeled a$$ kicking, quip-flinging, and general hotness, so we are more than a little disappointed when our TrueBlood heroes turn into TrueDuds. *Warning: Spoilers and language may be present.* Dud-O-Meter I know, I know!  I’m catching up.  Sunday will be episode 3 and I will be timely in posting.  1 point for me Sookie:  Why the all the sweaters?  Is it really necessary to put one on every time you come home?  Isn’t it, like 1,000 degrees in Louisiana?  And while we’re at it, what’s up with the creepy paper you sleep next to?  Put it in a drawer already.  Figures, though, you would “stumble” upon a handsome stranger while being late to work.  You’ve gone through everyone else in the town, I guess you need some NewBlood.  7  points for leaving Arlene stranded at work again, and admitting a stranger into your house after EVERYTHING YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH Arlene:  Keep it coming!  I’m liking your savvy.  “Organic means you play the fancy piano at church.”  Yes, girl.  Sock it to those snotts!  Glad you rescued your man from a sticky situation, but I’m not OK with lying to a pregnant woman about her dead husband.  1 point (You did try to be gentle…) Andy: Those little girls are just running little fairy circles around you!!  I love it.  Cheers to them and for you for being brave enough to ask for help. Seriously now, stop complaining. 1 point Tara:  I’m still waiting for you to kick some butt, but maybe you are learning compassion.  Also, maybe you will be the strong arm our Pam needs.  Is her boo-hooing reminding you of anyone…ah hem…Tara?  0 points Pam:  I will allow you touching moments from time to time.  But we need you… 0 points (for now) Sam:  REALLY?  The worst luck.  You lost Emma after having her for a day.  A DAY!!  And who else would have spies in the bushes outside their trailer.  Ugh.  5 points Emma: Honey, I’m glad you are having fun with Lafayette, but show some respect for your mamma.  A tear?  Anything?   5 points...

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