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Little Loves: What Makes A Grandparent?

Little Loves: What Makes A Grandparent?

Oct 16, 2014

By Mo Breden I’m NOT a Grandma. I may never be.  I have made my peace with it, and I sincerely am ok with it.   One of my most ardent desires in life was to be a mother, and I was blessed twice in that regard. I will always count those two relationships, with my daughter and my son, as the most cherished in my life. One of the reasons I have easily made peace with it is because of the “little loves” that have come into my life and have remained.  Most prominently, my great niece and nephew and the two daughters of my daughter’s best friend.  I know I don’t see them as often as a grandmother would, but when I do, it’s all about love and fun and conversations that put me over the moon.   I’m so grateful for these little loves, and I couldn’t love them more if I was their Grandma. In the past few days my great niece had to be hospitalized, I couldn’t be there, but I was there, texting, driving my niece crazy with questions, suggestions, and more questions.  I lay awake last night waiting to hear word about the opinions of the doctors and I’m happy to say, she’s doing much better today. Her symptoms have lessened and she is more back to herself.  I couldn’t have been more concerned, or more scared last night, if I was her Grandma. So, the question begs, what makes a Grandma, or Grandpa, or Mother or Father, for that matter?  It is not solely a matter of genetics, it is a stirring in the soul, it is a spiritual attachment to a child that you love and care about.   These little loves that come into our lives, captivate and stay with us, near or far, and they do not have to be blood relationships. Life frequently does not give us what we want, or what we think we want.  Life surprises you with unexpected gifts in unexpected places and with little loves.   There is, for sure, a lesson in this.  When I don’t get what I want or what I think I should get, I have my little...

The Slightest of Changes for the Better

The Slightest of Changes for the Better

Oct 2, 2014

By Mo Breden It is late on Wednesday night, my blog posts on Thursday (tomorrow) morning.  I’ve been unable to find a suitable subject for my blog.   I am bothered by the short-term memory of the American public, in that there is no more discussion about domestic violence.  I can only hope that those out there that need help, reach out and get it and that the dedicated work of people in the field continues to make a difference in the lives of those affected.  I will continue to talk about it and to work as best I can with the opportunities that I have to help wherever I can.  I hope you will keep it in your thoughts and do what you can to bring attention to the subject of domestic violence. I am bothered by the first case of the Ebola virus being diagnosed in the United States.  It really is every science fiction nightmare come true, isn’t it?  The continued and insistent comments made by those in authority about how it can’t or won’t be spread here, like it has in Africa, just adds to my anxiety because, let’s face it, that’s what the authorities say at the beginning of every sci-fi horror movie. Last week, I bruised a few ribs doing a demonstration of an assisted rescue from the deck of the pool to a victim having difficulty in the water.  I have no idea how exactly it happened, but needless to say, it’s been a painful few weeks and I am just now starting to feel a little bit better, it has messed with my swimming and my life in general and I’ve been fairly miserable.  This comes as a big surprise to me because there was a time when I would have been happy as a clam to have nothing to do but hang around the house and watch old movies, but my life is different now, I still like to watch old movies, but I love being active, I love my swimming and I love getting out there and feeling healthy.  The moral of this story is that laying flat on a concrete pool ledge and pulling...

Domestic Violence and the NFL

Domestic Violence and the NFL

Sep 18, 2014

By Mo Breden There is no way that I could write my blog post this week without addressing domestic violence and the NFL.   I look at Janay Palmer Rice and I fear for her, I worry about what he’s done to her prior to the elevator, I worry about what he will do to her in the future, and I know she is more susceptible to his violence now than she ever was.  I can’t do anything about her life, I have to hope that the people who love her the most will help her through her life and that she will reach out and get the help she needs. Women, mother’s who put their children in Ray Rice jersey’s and took them to the Raven’s game, I don’t understand?  Women, who after viewing the tape say that she, hit him first, so she deserved to get hit back?  Women, what are you thinking?  What kind of insane reasoning is this? I believe that men and women are equal, or should be, in every way.  We are, however, different, and that has to be acknowledged along with our equality.  In general men, particularly professional athletes, are bigger, stronger, and more prone to violence than women.  (My opinion).   Men cannot go around smacking or punching, or pushing women around, they just can’t, it is WRONG!! When I was growing up, we had a rule in our house, proclaimed and enforced by my father.  The boys NEVER hit the girls.  I can remember tormenting my older brother to total exasperation, he flipped a table he was trying to study on, but he did not hit me.  I also remember a major fight between my older sister and older brother, my sister was vicious, but my brother did not hit her.   My brother’s never hit my sister or me. Mother’s, your boys need to be taught this from the beginning, because it has to be a part of who they are.  They are, in all likelihood going to be bigger and stronger than the girls and women in their lives.  They cannot express themselves with physical violence towards these girls and women.  Mother’s, your daughters need to...

The Illusion of Control

The Illusion of Control

Sep 4, 2014

By Mo Breden   I’ve had a great deal of difficulty recently putting my thoughts together, thus the absence of blog postings. I’m still not sure I can, but I made a commitment to provide blog postings so heeereee we go!!!! Part of my problem, I think, is the illusion of control. You do know that control is an illusion. I’m talking about anything beyond the tip of your nose. You do have a certain amount of control about what goes on inside the tip of your nose, that being you and what you do and how you do it. However, at times there is no way to control situations even within your own little sphere. Family, friends, loved ones, their choices, their lives, their troubles, you have no control over, no matter how much you want to make it better, to save them heartache, there is nothing you can do beyond, lend a sympathetic ear, a shoulder to cry on, or a few words of advice. And advice is something you have to give and forget because they may or may not want or put into action any suggestions you make to them. I’ve been angry at no one in particular, I’ve doubted my faith, I’ve cried, I’ve projected some horrible outcomes and I’ve pulled back attempting to insulate myself from the lives of others. I have never minded being alone, doing things alone, so isolating myself is one of the easiest things I can do. I’m a pro at it. In the end I do know that we, human beings, need one another, we need the interactions that we only get from one another. My greatest joys in life have always been in association with others, sharing their lives and allowing them in to share mine. Going back to the illusion of control. I have the ability to control the way I feel about the situations in the lives of those around me. I have the ability to give the gifts that I have to others, but beyond that the only thing I can control is how I deal with it and how I then continue on living my life. I also...

My Ode to Chocolate

My Ode to Chocolate

Aug 7, 2014

By Mo Breden Every now and again I crave a particular kind of chocolate.  You may know them as Sno-Caps to me they are mini Nonpareils.  My dad used to love Nonpareils, they were usually sold loose when I was a kid and in penny candy stores when he grew up.  The ones I settled for, this time were Sno-Caps, in the theater box for 88 cents, such a deal.  The box advertises that they contain 25% less fat than the leading chocolate brands?  Chocolate brands of what? I eat this candy, straight from the box, and by this I mean, I tilt my head back and pour them into my mouth! Yes, I do.  I enjoyed every swig from the box, each time remembering my dad enjoying the big round ones that he used to eat; these are, as I said, a mini version of the originals. When I was finished I looked at the empty box, avoiding the nutritional panel at all cost and noticed a cute little “Good to Know” section on the box.  This is what it said, “Balance is the key to healthy eating.  Chocolate confections in moderation can be part of a healthy diet.”  This just tickled me to death, after having eaten the entire box all by my lonesome.   For me, this is nearly impossible, chocolate and moderation do not even exist in the same universe for me, which of course makes me think of Milky Ways!!!  Yum. If you eat chocolate in moderation, I commend you.   I have seen and read just about all there is out there that talks about chocolate and how it can be good for your heart, in moderation, good for your love life, in moderation, and I have always rolled my eyes to the back of my head when hearing these statement.  I’m a do or die, all or nothing at all chocolate freak.  I can go for months and not touch the stuff, but this is usually because I know once I touch the stuff its no longer nothing at all, IT IS ALL, as in ALL THE CHOCOLATE I can get my hands on.  It’s a real character flaw,...

The Sharing of Inspirational Quotes on Social Media

The Sharing of Inspirational Quotes on Social Media

Jul 24, 2014

By Mo Breden There is great debate, controversy, and even drama among a group of my friends regarding the sharing of inspirational quotes on Social Media. I personally have no problem with the sharing, provided it is not excessive. I do it myself. If I see something that stirs or moves me, I naturally want to share it with friends and family. However, one of my friends goes absolutely berserk at the sharing of these quotes and in turn makes up her own, often obscene and offensive in order to shame the sender into ceasing and desisting. This, as far as I can tell, has not been an effective strategy because although the sender usually then excludes her from the group receiving the inspirational quotes, the rest of us continue to receive them. As I said, I am not opposed to receiving them, as I send them myself. Another of my friends monitored a quote that I posted for an entire day, so that she could report back to me that nobody “liked” it. I went ahead and “liked” it, and she told me that was cheating. We had a discussion about her getting back to work and leaving my posts alone, eventually someone did like the quote, so I guess I win! As with all things in life, moderation is the best strategy. We are all still learning how to best use the social media that is now available to all of us, all the time every day. I have always believed that the explosion of the Internet could be one of the greatest things to ever happen to humanity. The ability to connect instantly to any one, any where in the world is an outstanding achievement in communications. So much good can come from it, as can so much that is bad. It is really up to all of us. We don’t want to annoy our friends or overload them with garbage, so moderation must be the key. Just take the time to enjoy the quote and give some thought to whether you want to pass it on to everyone, just a few, or no one at all. It really is ok,...

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