Create your balance. Design your life.

Hearing the Hard to Hear

Hearing the Hard to Hear

Feb 25, 2015

You hear something unflattering about yourself. It happens. How you handle the situation as an adult matters more than it did when you were in high school. This is your opportunity for real growth. Here are some things to avoid: 1. Running Away. When a person points out a negative trait of ours, or airs a grievance, it is tempting to run away. We want to remove that person from our life. There are a million social media memes we can latch onto about “removing negative people from our lives.” And while shedding toxic people is important, ignoring criticism is dangerous to personal development. Cutting people out should not be a go-to behavior in your adult life. Instead, this is a chance to move through an uncomfortable situation and come out a better person (with stronger, more developed relationships). 2. Thinking the other person is crazy. Like running away, thinking the other person is “crazy” is also dangerous to personal development. What part of the criticism or comment can you actually embrace? Even if a negative comment seems to come out of left field, there is an element of truth to the person making the comment. Is there anything in the conversation that you can accept? Can you honor the way they feel? Just because a person can see (or has a problem with) one of your negative behaviors or habits doesn’t mean that person is nuts. 3. Talking about it over and over and over again to everyone you know. When you rehash a conversation you had, with people who were not involved in the original conversation, you are in danger of gossiping. It is also another “avoidance” tactic to facing the truth in the difficult conversation. Also, are you fishing for someone to say, “That’s not true. You are ___. That person is crazy”? Because if you are, you are not only missing the growth opportunity, you are also making the other person uncomfortable. This behavior says to the new person, “I cannot handle any criticism or truthful conversation.” 4. Allowing the comment to morph into a lie. Have you ever had a conversation with someone and then found out later they heard nothing...

Unexpected Places

Unexpected Places

Feb 17, 2015

Three weeks ago I was living in suburban, rural almost, Florida. Now, I find myself and my family living in the middle of Manhattan in the city of all U.S. cities. In the winter. In the snow. As I pushed my daughter in her flimsy umbrella stroller, through this blackish snow-mush that collects anywhere a human might want to cross the street, I had to pull over. My girls complained, my face felt like frozen meat, and that familiar pinch of anxiety crept into my chest. Then I looked down the street. The view was surreal. Monumental buildings lined the street, just like in the movies. How the Hell did I get here? After one of the most emotionally difficult years of my life, everything tailspinned into a completely different set of circumstances. Just as I was inching myself out of a deep hole, I find myself starting all over. Again. The bottom line: we find ourselves in unexpected places. If we allow it, we can start again. I never pictured myself in New York City. It was never on a list of places I even wanted to vacation, much to my friends’ surprise. Yet, here I am. We all have choices, even if it doesn’t seem like much of a choice. That’s it. That’s the wisdom. You might find everything you were “working for” completely uprooted. You might find yourself having to make a decision between career and family, comfort and the unknown. And just maybe, THAT unexpected place is EXACTLY where you are supposed to be. Who knows, right? Since the WLBPA focuses on balance, the protection of sanity, and life experience, this column will reflect the new direction I have taken in the last few weeks. I’d love for you to come with me on this journey of “who knows what,” as I learn to live in a tiny apartment, in a humongous city, with a toddler and a kindergartner in tow. photo credit: America: this is a place where dreams can still come true via photopin (license) Share this:RedditPinterestFacebookLinkedInTumblrTwitterGoogleEmailLike this:Like...

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