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Musing #45: The Limey Election, as Told by Yanks (and 1.5 Canucks)

Musing #45: The Limey Election, as Told by Yanks (and 1.5 Canucks)

May 30, 2015

UKIP?! Gesundheit!!! (That was both sneeze joke and Nazi allusion.) If you follow this column, you know that its author is an unabashed Anglophile. And you are less than shocked that we’re talkin’ Britannia again. Fair warning: There may be some references below — perhaps, even the one above — that don’t register with most Americans. (#SorryNotSorry #GoogleThatShit) THUS…In case you hadn’t heard, the British Isles have been livin’ quite the newsy 2015! “British Isles” is an admittedly touchy collective term. Don’t hate me Ireland!!! For I love you. And now, an unchronological recap of the big “British Islander” stories since January, Stacy-style: The Royal Stink-Eye acquired a baby sister (whose clothes I shall soon covet…#KinderwhoreForever), and the United Kingdom acquired a “blood princess” — the ghastly term obsessively insisted-upon by the Royal Creep-Fest himself (Prince Andrew), in reference to his own daughters of York. Prince George does not abide. The Royal Creep-Fest — along with Alan “Reversal of Fortune” Dershowitz, of all randos — got named and then stricken from the record in the Palm Beach County, Florida federal shit-show surrounding Jewish-American Über-Creep Jeffrey Epstein and alleged underage “sex slaves.” Not actual Dershowitz. After a decade of indefatigable civil litigation, The Guardian triumphantly published the ominous Prince Charles “black spider” memos to government ministers…and said memos were revealed to be criminally boring. Upon reflection, that makes perfect sense and should have surprised no one. HRH proved himself to be at once highly intelligent and painfully dull. (Duh!) “Cumbie” got repeatedly “batched” by Redmayne at award shows, despite having been in the better film. I watched THE IMITATION GAME [2014] three times in 48 hours, balling my brains out every time! Moreover, I love that Downtown Tom was cast as [SPOILER ALERT!] Next-Generation Downtown Tom. Can men please dress like this again soon?! Speaking of Alan Turing and the LGBTQ community…Ireland did arguably the coolest thing she has ever done. If you don’t get that reference: (1) shame on you; (2) read a damn newspaper and some Oscar Wilde; and (3) go watch THE IMITATION GAME! ERIN GO BRAGH! And, speaking of the people speaking (#YES!)…Following the late-2014 failure of the most recent Scottish...

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