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Musing #7: Stacy, Plain and Short (or How Glenn Close Saved Me from Babs)

Musing #7: Stacy, Plain and Short (or How Glenn Close Saved Me from Babs)

Jul 26, 2013

Welcome to Part II of Musing #6: Beauty (or How Barbra Streisand Ruined My Youth). I know. The first installment was volatile, and it made you uncomfortable. Fear not. That half was about those who have taken me down. This half is (ultimately) about those who have uplifted me. So, where were we? Ah, yes. We were at: Babs did nothing for “ugly” actors. Cool. Have you ever heard of the Streisand effect? I hadn’t until earlier this week, whilst in the throes of composing this tortuous essay. Quoting the almighty Wikipedia: “The Streisand effect is the phenomenon whereby an attempt to hide, remove, or censor a piece of information has the unintended consequence of publicizing the information more widely, usually facilitated by the Internet.” Hilarious. How exactly what I’m doing here is THAT?!? Anyway… Here’s sharing an essay that makes me want to throw dishes at windows: “The Pride of Being the Only One in Hollywood Without a Nose Job: Barbra Streisand” by Franca Sozzani. And here’s the thing about Babs being the “only one” to let it be: She broke zero ground for the rest of us. It’s NOT a feminist thing. It’s a BABS thing. She did NOT pave the way for open-minded casting. She paved the way for Barbra Streisand comparisons. Admittedly, that’s not her fault. It IS, however, her fault that she has long-claimed the reason for no surgery is protection of her VOICE. Quoting a sharp commentator on the essay in question (who writes at the handle of charleyvldm9): “She could’nt [sic] interfere with her nose, because it would affect her voice. Just like Michael Jackson.” Yup! Babs has been preaching singing nose BULLSHIT for DECADES. She touched ME with that nonsense, and it kept me from asking for help. FOR YEARS. Franca Sozzani’s disgusting, politically-correct essay makes my pain out to be superficial. My pain is NOT superficial. I can’t change the terrible business of show single-handedly by NOT fixing my nose. (Is not Babs living proof?!?) So why should I endure my deepest pain for my entire life on behalf of fellow chicks (who largely give me shit about my not-weight-problem)? Because some bitch who doesn’t run in my race thinks it’s fabulous?!? (Barf.) Pardon me, but FUCK FRANCA...

The Royal Baby: Why am I obsessed?

The Royal Baby: Why am I obsessed?

Jul 25, 2013

Mo Mo Politics:  Having a connection to politics, and the current events of our community, often contributes to a sense of “larger purpose.” If our work doesn’t provide us with meaning and fulfillment, we can engage ourselves in the world around us. By Mo B. Why am I obsessed? Historically, we crossed the Atlantic Ocean on voyages lasting weeks in miserable conditions, endured disease, hard hard winters, starvation, battled Indians, and then fought a bloody Revolutionary War; all to free ourselves from the clutches of the British Monarchy. And what have I been doing so far, all this week? I’ve been glued to CNN (this is brutally self inflicted pain) watching for any peek, any movement, hanging on any word from or of the British Monarchy. Why am I obsessed? Because Will and Kate were having their baby, OF COURSE!!! Finally some British guy reads the news off of his Blackberry….really? His Blackberry? It wasn’t enough for me to see a re-play; I had to see them on the steps of the Lindo Wing LIVE. So I waited, waited, waited and oh yea, baby, I waited. Then, before my eyes, the Princess of Cambridge, and not one; but two future Kings of England. Why, do I care? Why? I loved Princess Diana, I remember getting up early laying on the couch watching her float down the aisle to marry her Prince. It was magic, it was history. I dreamed of what her fairy tale life would be marrying a future King. How different my dream of her life and the reality of her life would be. But, that is why I am obsessed with the birth of her first grandchild. Her son, William, her daughter-in-law Kate and their beautiful baby boy, that Diana will never get the chance to kiss and love, it is so very sad and at the same time there is hope that things will turn out differently for her children and grandchildren. And I want that so very much because I do love happy endings. And today, TWC Breaking News – Tropical Storm Dorian has formed in the East Atlantic with winds of 50mph, my new obsession, Dorian, and God...

Workplace Ergonomics

Workplace Ergonomics

Jul 24, 2013

What Are Good Ergonomics? According to the United States Department of Health and Human Services, ergonomics is the science of fitting workplace conditions and job demands to employee capabilities. An ergonomic assessment of the workplace critically appraises the physical work environment—followed by changes based on the assessment. Ergonomic principles are then used to make the workplace compatible with the employee, improving the employee’s safety and productivity. In other words, the easier it is to do a job, the more productive and happy the worker will be. When considering the impact of proper ergonomics on workplace safety, three basic principles are especially important: 1. When lifting, the largest muscles in the area should perform the task. The larger the muscle or muscle group used for lifting, the lower the stress placed on smaller, more vulnerable muscles. 2. During any work activities, people should be able to comfortably assume a number of different postures and not remain in one position for an extended time. Muscles will fatigue and be more prone to injury when assuming a particular posture, especially a poor one (e.g., partially bent forward at the waist). 3. When performing tasks, it is important to keep the joints either in their neutral posture or approximately halfway into the range of motion. Working with your joints at the extremes of their ranges of motion for prolonged periods places abnormal stresses on them and can cause repetitive stress injuries. When working at a desk, try these suggestions for greater comfort: 1. Choose a desk that is the proper height. All things on your desk should be within easy reach. 2. Your feet should be touching the floor, with the legs and body forming an angle of 90 to 110 degrees. 3. Keep your body straight with the head and neck upright and looking forward, not to the side. Do not hunch over or slouch. 4. Adjust the height of your monitor. Look forward with your head in a neutral position. Your eyes should be at the same height as the top of the monitor. Leaning your head forward can lead to headaches and neck pain. 5. When typing, keep your wrists straight, your shoulders perpendicular to...

A Bitter Pill

A Bitter Pill

Jul 23, 2013

I knew L’s pediatrician was going to recommend putting him on daily medication long before we ever sat down in her office; my squirming 4 year old scratching and pinching to escape my hold so he could spin in circles around the room. In fact, I was so certain she – or another doctor or therapist – would suggest medication that I had put off getting a set diagnosis for my out-of-control, ADHD, sensory-seeking child for longer than I should have. We worked with a behavior therapist until we ran through the allotted visits allowed by our insurance, we tried deep breathing exercises, meditation, diet changes, tips from parenting books and the internet, natural supplements – nothing worked very well or had much lasting effect.   What may strike you as odd is I completely support the use of medication in children who truly need it. In fact, I started taking a form of Ritalin in fourth grade after I was diagnosed with ADHD and continued taking it all the way through college. My mother had tried homeopathic remedies and paid for allergy testing out-of-pocket before she agreed to let me try medication. I experienced a whole new world on the meds; I could focus in school, complete homework in one sitting, my thoughts slowed down enough to be formed into complete sentences, and I started making friends (as opposed to scaring them away with my lack of impulse control and intensity). I would still struggle through the remainder of school in all of these areas, but the Ritalin helped immensely and I made it through relatively unscathed. My kid brain, however, developed a deep loathing of my medication. I hated that I was beholden to ‘pill times’ and if I was late taking a dose or (forbid!) missed one altogether, I sometimes had little control over some of my behaviors. I wasn’t immune to the looks and teasing I received from adults and children when I was ‘off my meds’ and I was resentful that it took a pill to reign me in. I hated the loss of control.   Because of this, I was set against putting my own child on medication....

Ask Madeleine Vol. 8

Ask Madeleine Vol. 8

Jul 22, 2013

The questions are in and so are the answers!  If you haven’t checked it out before, Madeleine is my just-turned-4-year-old daughter.  She loves answering your questions.  Submit them on our FB page. Send them in using the “contact” button.  Whatever works! What do good Moms do? Madeleine: Well, they certainly do laundry. [(laughing) Yes, that’s true. What other kinds of things do Mommies do that makes them good?] They do all the things kids want to do–whatever they want. [What do you want to do?] Go to Ikea!! Stinky Old Mom:  Will the laundry never end?  I can’t even get it all put away before the basket is overflowing.  Apparently, I complain about it constantly as well! To answer the questions though: Good Moms do the best they can.  That’s it.  Good parents are the parents doing everything they can do to be their personal best for their children.  That is all we can expect from ourselves.  We can’t be perfect. We listen, we try, we strive for everything, and accomplish as much as we can.  Side note: Ikea is actually awesome for a little break while the kids play in the play area.  We use it as a reward. Plus, the frozen-yogurt is only 3 Weight Watchers points. It’s a win-win!! If you were a Mom, what kind of work would you do? Madeleine:  This mom is making drinks!  I would do whatever I want. Stinky Old Mom: I have a feeling she’s thinking only about eating candy, not cleaning her toys and drinking juice whenever she wants, but in a certain sense, it is true.  We can all be whatever we set our minds to be.  Sometimes, we make sacrifices or hold off on plans for a better time, but we can always achieve our dreams. Which kinds of school supplies do kids need for the first day of school? Madeleine: A new backpack! Stinky Old Mom:  I’m keeping my eyes out for sales on go-to items like pencils, crayons, and glue. Staples just had crayons for $.25 a box.  I know she’ll need them and we can use them here too.  Teachers can have specific types of notebook or folder requirements, so I hold off on...

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